At Castagnola's

As I climbed the stairs to the second floor of Castagnola's Italian Seafood Restaurant at Pier 39 today (click title above for the view) I overheard a young man on his cell phone saying, "it doesn't seem like there's anyone here for any of the roles over 30...." Well, if I had an ace in the hole, that would be it. I auditioned for the role of Josephine, Tina's mother, today - at the open call for "Tony 'N Tina's Wedding," the long-running show that has become a lucrative business in major cities from coast to coast.

Bad slow trip across the Bay Bridge got me there a bit late for the 3 PM, but it didn't matter. Easy on-street parking found for this old North Beach denizen. Actors were streaming in for hours. Lots of youth, maybe one or two women in their early 40's. There would be about 15 people waiting at any given time. Some folks had monologues ready to go and rehearsed them facing the wall, others read their sides from the play to one another, some sat and read their books, quietly. People from the busy and noisy restaurant (there's a depression? Says who?) were up and down the stairs to use the restrooms. At one point, two white- haired grandmotherly types, who could have been guests at the faux wedding, asked if this was the line for the ladies' room. Lots of chuckles from the male actors. Waiters, cooks, line chefs, all Latino, were up and down the steps from one workroom to another, to their punch clocks, in and out of their job uniforms, staring at us while still moving quickly. We auditioners must all look a bit insane...Every once and again a strong female wrangler would step out of the audition room door, give us instructions, hand out scripts, and collect sign-up sheets, photos, and resumes. Finally, having gotten my script, I was attacking my role as though my Italian-American Josephine would be from NY or NJ. Just in time, one of the actresses emerged from her casting session, and announced to all, "Oh, don't bother with a New York accent, they don't want that." Later another one came out, "It's true! No New York accents, the family is supposed to be from California." OK, got it.

When my turn finally came to deliver to the director, the wrangler, and another mystery woman, in a large banquet room with a small wooden stage and lots of round tables, I gave them my most dramatic reading - lots of color and flourishes, addressed to the imaginary roomful. Josephine tells them that they are about to participate in "the dollar dance," and that even her daughter hadn't known about it, but, yes, she will be doing it (against her wishes)...and then for my dramatic moment before I tell the roomful of imaginary wedding guests that the tacky (not to Josephine!) dollar dance is about to begin. So, I was a bit Trainer Terry ("See "In-World War" write-ups), a bit slick suburban housewife, a bit domineering mother...You always call up someone in these auditions. So, in theory, the more you have lived, the easier it should be, if you have emotional memory and a little instinct in you.

It would be a real kick to get this gig. It's paid. It's audience interactive. It takes chutzpah.

Have your people call the T'NT people for me, wouldya?