And Now We Are Six (Again)

“Who we are at six” - said the child psychologist on “Oprah” - “is who we will be for the rest of our lives.” He was saying this to give the audience food for thought about the abused and neglected six-year-old girl that had been taken away from her bizarre mother.

Footage was shown of how the child appeared when she had been found by a social services worker, wearing loaded diapers, undernourished, and living in a small filthy bedroom with only a moldy, torn mattress for furniture. Now the feral girl had been adopted by a couple in their fifties. They had five other children already, some grown, and at least one boy at home. The woman, lean and angular, with dyed blond hair neatly combed in a youthful shoulder-length do with bangs, had that strange, been-in-front-of -God-and-the-sun-too-long look, and the man, who had a small beard and a sparkle in his blue yes, was missing half of his bottom teeth.

The psychologist complimented them on their difficult endeavor. The little girl was now eight years old, and the show aired footage of her looking adorable now that she was all cleaned up and cared for. Still, she always begged to be held and picked up, the parents testified. This was a one-year-old in the body of an eight-year-old, they said. Segue to the brain scans.

The psychologist spoke about the brains of developmentally healthy children versus those who have been neglected. He showed side-by-side comparison scans of the two sorts of brains. The neglected brains were smaller and there were holes in places that connecting brain tissue, or perhaps dendrites, ought to be.

This episode got me thinking, as it might you, about being the very same person now as I was at six. I wish could think back to being six again - a time when I was a carefree lass adapting to my parents’ lives and expectations, while satisfying my own. I remember fun-filled days of playing on swings, and with dolls, going to birthday parties and thrusting my hips in hula hoops… at least this is how memory tags on to family snapshots often seen.

When my hands began to hurt a few months ago from tenosynovitis – a swelling of the hands caused by senovial fluid, brought on by repetitive activities like computer typing – I started to think about all the things I might be able to do to bring in an income without using the computer all day, every day. I remembered how I used to make a bit of money doing voiceover work in the 80’s and decided to give it another try. I began by investing in getting my demo reels in order. This entailed going to a sound studio with all my old reels and getting them digitized, even baking the original reel-to-reel tapes that had become distorted with time. It’s been over 25 years since I recorded those demos. Luckily, my voice hasn’t changed.

Then I started marketing myself. Not having an agent and not belonging to SAG or AFTRA, the actors’ unions, I mainly answer ads on Craigslist for projects requiring voices. I also listed myself on CastingNetworks.com, a website that matches producers and directors to talent, much like an online dating service. I had beginners’ luck. Within a couple of weeks I got my first gig – to record on video, playing two roles: a doctor and a Spanish speaking patient. I had to audition in front of a camera.

I wasn’t nervous and I don’t know why. This fact allowed me to easily take the next step. I was invited to audition for a short two-character student film. This also required auditioning in front of camera, reading various parts the director had selected from old movies, then reading from the actual shooting script at hand. For the first audition I read from a movie I had never seen, “The Story of Us,” Michelle Pfeiffer’s role. Then I tried comedy, reading the Lorraine Bracco character in “Goodfellas” where she tells a new recruit into the Mob about what it’s like to have these wise guy husbands. I read it in a Joisey accent and blew the director and other actors away. First question: “Are you from New Jersey?” “Yes,” I told them, “I was born in Hackensack.” I didn’t explain that I had never used that accent, but that I heard it a lot in New Jersey. Nor did I mention that I once shared a Jitney back from the Hamptons with Lorraine Bracco before she was famous, so I knew what a regular person is and how she can so swiftly become a credible actress. I got the part. Rehearsals begin soon.

There are bound to be many more auditions in my future. Because now, after a modicum of success in the little industrial for UC Davis Medical School and all the excitement and anticipation I have about co-starring as “Mom” in a student film, I have been bitten by the acting bug. This must have been a virus lurking inside a six-year-old that’s just been begging to come out.